A Birthday Celebration
by halstead2940
Summary: The ending of Season 3 left me unsatisfied, so I had to write this for my own peace of mind.
1. Chapter 1

A Birthday Celebration

Bianca's phone buzzed and she looked down at the caller i.d. - JANET. Her heart rate shot up as she contemplated taking the call. She hadn't spoken to Janet in more than a month, since the NCC investigation closed down. Hesitantly, she answered, "Janet?" But instead she heard Liam's cheery little voice. "Hey, Bibi, it's me, Liam! My birthday is tomorrow- mine and Emma's, of course- so can you come over for ice cream and cake?"

"I'd love to, Liam. See you tomorrow." She had really missed the little guy, his sweet acceptance of her, his hugs. She missed Emma, too, even though they had not bonded as closely. It would be really nice to see the twins, catch up on all their activities. Did Janet know about this invitation? Surely she did. But what did she think about it?

After work, a quick shopping trip to pick up a video game for Liam and a sketch pad and colored pencils for Emma. Bianca drove around the block four times before she summoned enough courage to park the car and walk up to the door. It took a few more minutes and several deep breaths for her to knock. Janet opened the door and her surprise was evident. Bianca explained rather uncomfortably, "I wanted to wish the kids a Happy Birthday." She held up two gift bags. Janet smiled an equally uncomfortable but not unwelcoming smile. "Come in. We're having ice cream and cake."

Liam jumped up and ran to Bianca, wrapping his arms around her in a big hug. "Bibi! You came!" Bianca hugged him back and kissed the top of his head. "Happy Birthday, Liam." She gave him one of the bags. Emma approached more slowly, but also gave Bianca a big hug. "Happy Birthday, Emma." The twins squealed with delight at their birthday presents.

"Come have some ice cream," said Liam. Emma added, "There's chocolate cake, too. You can have a big piece." Without looking at Janet, Bianca followed the children to the table. Tony was also there, enjoying the birthday treats. He and Bianca exchanged greetings. Liam and Emma served her the ice cream and cake, while Janet watched. Bianca focused all of her attention on the twins, as they caught her up on their latest adventures and told her a few lame jokes, which she managed to laugh at, anyway.

Finally, as bedtime approached, the party broke up. Tony bid them all goodnight and headed for the door. Bianca made a move to follow him, but Liam cried out, "Don't go, Bibi! Stay and read us a story!" Emma added, "Yes, do!" Bianca finally glanced at Janet, who smiled back at her with a shrug, "I guess they're tired of my voice." She turned to the children. "All right, you two. Get ready for bed and we'll come up for a story." The two children raced upstairs, leaving Janet and Bianca in an awkward silence.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" asked Janet tentatively.

"Okay."

Neither spoke as Janet poured two glasses of red wine. After a sip, Janet said quietly, "Thanks for coming tonight. The kids really enjoyed seeing you. It was fun all being together."

Bianca replied, "I was surprised when Liam called. Surprised but happy. It's good to see them again." After a pause she continued, "How's work?" Janet flicked her head dismissively. "It's work. Always bad guys to chase down. I think I'd rather watch the kids chase balls. Liam has developed an interest in rugby league, so I had to buy him a Roosters jersey."

"You could get a Nate Baldwin one really cheaply," said Bianca wryly. Ooh, big mistake. The memories were still too fresh, too painful. A long pause filled the room. Neither wanted to broach the subject uppermost in their minds, so they drank their wine in silence until Liam appeared on the stairs.

"We're ready now!"

Bianca followed Janet up the stairs. Janet stood at the door and watched as Bianca settled in. When she finished reading, she closed the book and kissed each child goodnight. Janet then came in to give them one last kiss. Once they were back out in the hallway, Bianca whispered, "I left some clothes here. Could I pick them up now?" Janet nodded. "They're in my room - our room." Bianca's head drooped a bit but she followed Janet to the master bedroom. Bianca put her hand on the door frame and said, "I renewed my lease." Janet crossed the room, where the clothes were folded neatly on top of the dresser. She gathered them up and turned to put them in Bianca's outstretched hands.

"I've been missing those pants," Bianca said, focusing her gaze on the bunch of clothes.

"I've been missing you," murmured Janet. "So have the kids." She laid her hands over Bianca's. "Please, give me another chance." Her voice wavered. "Please! I never could get my father to say, "I love you," but I can say it. I love you, Bianca. Help me be the person you need me to be."

Bianca slowly raised her eyes from the armful of clothes to Janet's face. The pain and the longing she saw there looked exactly like the pain and longing she had felt when she had put the house keys in Janet's hand and walked away over a month ago. They looked at each other, barely breathing. Bianca was motionless, save for a slight tremor in her hands. Janet took the clothes from her grasp and tossed them on the floor. Her left hand reached out and gently stroked Bianca's hair, then down her cheek, her fingers resting on Bianca's neck. Her right arm curved around Bianca's waist. Bianca still didn't move, even as Janet leaned in to kiss her. Only then did Bianca respond, answering the kiss with a deeper one back. The kisses became longer and more intense, until Janet broke away and crossed the room to lock the door, unbuttoning her blouse as she returned to Bianca's now-welcoming arms. Soon there were a pile of clothes tangled on the floor and two lovers entangled on the bed.

An hour before dawn, Bianca woke up. Janet was still asleep, blonde hair spilling over the pillow, her long, slender form nestled next to Bianca's. Bianca carefully slid out of bed, gathered her clothes and tiptoed out of the room. She dressed in the hallway and noiselessly crept down the stairs and out the front door, locking it behind her. She should have left a note! Oh, well, she would send a text once she got home. Her emotions were too jumbled at the moment. Maybe a strong cup of tea would help her think straight, which she definitely could not do in Janet's arms.

Janet opened her eyes when she heard the alert on her phone. A text from Bianca. She turned and saw the empty side of the bed. The text said, "Last night was wonderful, but we still need to talk." Janet sat back on the bed, staring at the phone in her hand. She had told Bianca she loved her, but evidently that wasn't enough. She wasn't sure what more she could do or say, but she would keep talking until she found the words Bianca was waiting for. She had to. Ash was gone forever. She couldn't lose Bianca, too. Their love felt so right, and Janet always fought for the right. She would win this fight, too -yes, she would!


	2. Chapter 2

Bianca 's feelings were a mass of contradictions. She was mad at herself for succumbing to Janet's charms yet again, but oh, it felt so good to make love to her like before. Bianca had vowed to break things off completely, but at the first hint of possible reconciliation, she had rushed over. She had complained that Janet didn't talk things over with her, but when Janet was ready to talk, she wasn't ready to listen. And neither one had done much talking the night before. Although, she smiled ruefully, they had had much better things to do. She had meant it when she told Janet she didn't want her to change. Janet's passion for justice was one of her most appealing characteristics ( well, that and her stunning beauty) but she did want Janet to change the dynamics of their relationship, to treat her as a real partner, to share her thoughts, not just her bed. Bianca was proud of herself for standing up to the indomitable Janet King, but she had asked herself a thousand times if she had walked away too soon. Did she dare try one more time? Was the risk of more heartache worth the reward of a future with Janet and her family? The odds did seem to be tilting more in her favor. Liam was certainly on her side, and Emma had warmed up to her at last. So if Janet really was ready to talk - and to listen - Bianca was willing to try.

Bianca was so deep in thought that the buzz of the phone startled her, making her spill some tea. The text from Janet read , "Kids have track 2 nite. How about tomorrow? Come for dinner?" Bianca replied."In Canberra the rest of the week. Saturday?" "Fine. About 6?" "See you then." Bianca hoped the talking would be easier than the scheduling.

Janet's heart fluttered with hope, a feeling that had disappeared over the past miserable month since the NCC reference had come to naught. Okay, the ATO had gotten a pile of money, but Darren Faulkes was still free and Owen was acting like he had scored a major victory over her. None of that really mattered, though. Richard was safe and Pearl had settled in nicely at soccer school. Darren Faulkes would eventually pay for his crimes, she was sure of that, but how could she ever win Bianca back? Over and over in her mind she replayed those words, "It's too late", felt the cold press of metal into her hand, and watched the woman she loved turn around and walk away. Her own misery was bad enough, but it was compounded by having to answer the twins' daily question, "Is Bibi coming over?" with an evasive "Not tonight." Thankfully, they never asked why, because how could she explain to her children when she couldn't fully come to grips with it herself?

Now Liam's phone call had given her another chance. Bianca wouldn't have come over if there weren't at least a possibility of reconciliation. The tension and awkwardness at the dinner table were forgotten in the bedroom, as each kiss and caress reaffirmed that they belonged together. She just needed to convince Bianca. Last night's actions were a good start, but the two still needed to talk.

Saturday night there was an air of excitement at the dinner table. The twins were blossoming foodies- no plain old spag-bog for them. Tonight they had helped prepare a chicken and sweet potato curry,which turned out quite well despite the daunting recipe. Four happy people - could they become one happy family? The younger two saw no problems with that.

After baths and stories, the twins were reluctantly tucked into bed. The two women finished cleaning the kitchen in silence, each hesitant to start the conversation. Finally the kitchen was spotless and a bottle of wine opened. They sat down at the table across from one another, each eyeing the other expectantly. They sipped their wine. They looked at their wine glasses, then again at each other.

Finally Janet broke the silence. "I love you, Bianca. What can I do to convince you of that?"

Bianca frowned slightly. "I know you do. And I love you, too. Although God knows I've been trying to talk myself out of it for the past month."

Ooh, that stung. Janet could not help but flinch at the words, even though they were delivered in a quiet, almost reflective tone. She let the words sink in, then asked in an equally quiet voice, "If we both agree that we love each other, why are we sitting here like this, barely able to speak to one other?"

"Because we haven't talked about and agreed on what we both want from this relationship."

"Then tell me what you want." Janet's tone had a hint of exasperation, but she was making every effort to be calm and open to whatever Bianca was going to say. This was nothing like court, where she knew where the testimony was going, and where she could get just about any witness to wilt under her resolute questioning. In truth, she was the one about to wilt under Bianca's wistful gaze.

"I told you. I want to come first with you, and not feel guilty about it or feel like I'm being needy. I want us to be true partners, and partners should put each other first. I don't mean ahead of the twins. Of course you have to be there for them. But I want you to talk things over with me, anything that's important in your life. I want to share your life. I've been in relationships before and when they ended, I realized that I wasn't giving up much because there hadn't been much there. I want so much more than that now, because I love you so much. But I won't be just someone you turn to when you happen to have some spare time." She let out a deep sigh.

Janet sat there, frozen, just as she had been the night of the breakup. That night she had been in too much shock to speak. Now she was afraid to speak, afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of losing Bianca for good. The "spare time" remark was so unfair, but she didn't want to start an argument over it, so she kept quiet.

Bianca spoke again. "Maybe it's not fair to judge you by my past relationships, but I can't help it. I was in love with a woman named Fiona - we lived together for five years. We shared everything - at least, at first. But gradually we drifted apart. Too involved in our separate careers, like so many other couples. She was a systems analyst, and traveled a lot. As you know, my work hours can be crazy. It's not easy being a cop or being with a cop. So I do appreciate your patience there. Finally we both realized that our relationship wasn't working out any more, so we split up. But I've never forgotten how good the good parts were, and I promised myself that I would never settle for anything less. You were with Ash a long time, weren't you? What was your relationship like?"

Ash. Ash. Ash. The memories came flooding back. Ash's sweet, gentle smile. Her laugh. The memory of her touch, her kiss. Almost 12 years they were together, and Ash was always there for her. Until she lay on the ground, dead from the bullet meant for Janet. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Bianca was immediately contrite. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to upset you." She reached for Janet's hand, but was brushed away.

"I think you'd better go now." Janet stood up and ushered the guilt-stricken Bianca to the door. Bianca grasped Janet by the elbow, and with the other hand stroked a delicate path down Janet's damp cheek. She placed a gentle kiss on Janet's lips.

"We'll get through this." Then Bianca turned and walked out the door, leaving Janet dazed and hurting, but with a glimmer of hope.


	3. Chapter 3

Bianca was having a hard time concentrating on the road. Instead of the cars all around, she kept seeing Janet's stricken face. How could she have been so thoughtless? Even after all this time, Ash was a delicate subject. The evening had started out so well, with the kids making dinner, everybody having fun together. And she and Janet were finally starting the conversation that she had wanted for so long. Until Ash's name came up. And Janet threw her out.

Bianca tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "She threw me out. Damn it, she threw me out!" The pity she had felt minutes ago was quickly turning to anger. "I cannot believe she threw me out! She shut me out, then threw me out. Well, that does it. I am through with Janet King. Done! I don't care if she is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. When she shuts me out like that, I won't put up with it."

The tirade continued until she reached her apartment. Stepping inside the small but comfortable space, she looked around in appreciation. "Thank goodness I didn't give up my lease and move in with her. Where would I have gone now?" She went into her bedroom, undressed, and took a long, hot, soothing shower. Then she crawled into bed. Whenever she came home after being away on assignment or on holiday, she enjoyed slipping into her own comfortable bed. She really liked her bed. But she liked Janet's bed better, especially when she was in it with Janet. Oh, well. That won't happen any more. Bianca stared at the ceiling a long time until finally falling asleep.

Janet was still awake. After showing Bianca to the door, she had pulled out all of her photo albums. Many of her pictures of Ash were gone forever, since Peta had deleted the file on her iPad, but the earliest ones were in the albums, pictures of the two of them in Berlin when they had first met, their first apartment together, the vacation in Tasmania, sunrise on Belongil Beach. Ash had been dead for more than five years, and all those sessions with the therapist had helped Janet get past the grief and be ready for a new relationship. Yet suddenly, the mention of Ash's name had undone all that progress, and maybe even undone her relationship with Bianca.

Janet picked up every picture, savored the memory, and wept. Ash was never coming back. Ash, who knew Janet's faults and loved her anyway, who put up with her obsessive work ethic, who just wanted to be with Janet and their two beautiful children, and was cheated of the life she deserved. Janet finally threw herself on the bed and curled into a ball of misery until she, too, fell asleep.

The next morning she awoke to find the pictures strewn all over the floor. She gathered them up and filed them back into the albums. Then she went downstairs and began to fix breakfast. She had hoped to spend the day with Bianca, maybe all four of them going to the beach. But when she rang, there was no answer, so she left a voicemail. "I was thinking we could all go to the beach. Give me a call." An hour later, the kids were clamoring to go. Janet tried again and was sent to voicemail again. "Hi, Bianca. It's Janet. We're headed to Neilsen Park. Can you meet us there? I really would like to see you today. I want to apologize for last night."

The twin's high spirits lifted her own, and the three spent the day laughing, playing, picnicking. The children were always so good about living in the moment, and Janet did likewise, putting aside thoughts of her past with Ash and a now-unlikely future with Bianca. It was only when they had returned home, and the kids were finally in bed, that she felt the loneliness press in on her. She tried Bianca again, but still no answer. This time she texted, "We missed you today."

As soon as she woke up, she checked her phone, but nothing from Bianca. Then it was time to get ready for work, get the the kids to school, get back into her normal routine. The NCC couldn't touch Darren Faulkes, unfortunately, but the original reference on gambling in sports had uncovered other nefarious enterprises. Too much work had gone into their investigations - they had to stop some sort of criminal activity, even if they couldn't put that slimy bastard Faulkes in jail.

After work, it was time to pick up the kids, fix dinner, bath and story time, the usual flurry of activity. It wasn't until she settled on the couch with a glass of wine that the emptiness kicked in again. No Bianca beside her. No Bianca to talk to, to laugh with, to cuddle. She reached for her phone and texted: "Wish you were here with me. The kids asked about you." By the time she went to bed, there had still been no response. So she sent another text: "No fun drinking alone. Can you come over tomorrow night?"

As soon as she woke up the next morning, Janet reached for her phone. Still no response from Bianca. Hmmmm. But she didn't have time to think about it for long. The usual morning rush was about to start. It wasn't until lunch that she had a chance to try again. This time she called, but there was no answer, so she left a voicemail. "Hi, Bianca. It's Janet. I'm sorry about the other night. Can we try again? Give me a call."

Bianca had felt her phone vibrate, but was in the middle of a meeting, so she didn't see the voicemail notification until an hour later. Seeing that it was from Janet, she deleted it without even listening, as she had the previous ones. The texts had shown up on her screen, but she had ignored them. She was through with Janet King.

When Janet still had not gotten a response from Bianca, even after the kids were safely in bed, she began to worry. The last thing Bianca had said to her was "We'll get through this," so why wasn't she answering her phone? Maybe she should go over to Bianca's and check that everything was okay. She had seemed upset when she left, but if something bad had happened, like an accident, surely Janet would have heard about it by now. The grapevine reaches a very long way. Maybe Tony could come to the rescue again.

Yes, good old Uncle Tony was happy to get up out of his comfortable chair and ride to the rescue once again. Janet told him she hoped not to be too long. There was a light in the window of Bianca's apartment, but no answer when Janet rang the doorbell, even after several attempts. Disappointed and slightly confused, Janet headed home. When the doorbell had been silent for ten minutes, Bianca emerged from her bedroom and sat on the sofa to finish her glass of wine.

Janet sent Tony home with a big smile of gratitude but no explanation of where she had been. Janet needed to work this out herself. What had gone wrong? Okay, maybe she had overreacted at the mention of Ash's name. She and Bianca hadn't really talked much about Ash, except for the one time when Clay Nelson had been hit by a bus, leaving his son Reed without a father. No father -hmm, she would have been better off if her father hadn't suddenly reappeared. That seemed to be when things starting going wrong between her and Bianca. Yes, her father had caused her so much pain over the years. Maybe she need to talk to somebody about that. Talking to her therapist had certainly helped her get through the pain of losing Ash. Should she call Adie? No, that might take weeks. She wanted help NOW. Tony had been wonderful during the conflict with her father, but he really didn't want to get involved in her love life, although he got along well with Bianca and thought the two were a very good match. But don't put him in the middle of a lovers' quarrel.

So who did that leave? Her mother certainly wouldn't listen. That man had been horrible to her, and the only thing she wanted to know about him what what time his funeral was. That left her sister Liz. Somehow, Liz had managed to escape the wounds that having a demanding, loveless father had inflicted on Janet. Or maybe she hadn't. Maybe that's why she had moved to New York as soon as she finished university. With the time difference, and both so busy in their careers, Janet didn't talk to her sister very often. It was way past time for a good talk.

10PM in Sydney was 6AM in New York. If she got up early and tried at 5, that would be 1 PM. Better to try her at lunch than wake her up, but there never seemed to be a good time to call, so she rarely did. Any news that one heard about the other usually came from their mother. Liz might not even know about her recent dealings with Graham, since her mother didn't want to hear anything about him.

"Hello, Liz. Do you have time to talk now?"

"Well, G'day to you, little sister. Must be something important if you're calling. I have about 20 minutes, which might be enough since we don't waste time on pleasantries, do we?"

"I have at least an hour, so we can take plenty of time to catch up on things, but if we only have 20 minutes, can I go ahead and ask you something? We can try to catch up on the weekend, though."

"What can I help you with?"

" You know my girlfriend, Bianca? You met her right after I got back from Fiji."

Yes, I did. You're a lucky girl."

"Not so lucky any more. She broke up with me, and I'm hoping you can tell me how to get her back. A month ago, she gave me my house keys back and I thought we were finished for sure, but then she came over for the twins' birthdays, and I thought we were going to get back together. But right now she's not even talking to me."

"So what did you say to her - or, knowing you - not say to her?'

"We were fine until Graham showed up. I asked her to move in with me, but it was very complicated with him around, and the next thing I knew she said "It's too late."

"Whoa - go back. Dad showed up? He never visits you. I haven't even talked to him in months. "

"That's why I 'm calling you. He has messed up my life again. Things were great with Bianca. She was just about to move in with me. Then he showed up and ruined everything. At first he claimed that he wanted to get to know the twins, and he really was very sweet with them. Much nicer than he ever was to us. But what he really wanted was legal help. Pax, his company, has been losing lots of money, and he has made some very questionable decisions, although they weren't strictly illegal, so the case against him was dismissed. And now that he doesn't need my help, he is gone again. Good riddance."

"So what does this have to do with Bianca? She's a cop, right? Was she investigating him? "

"She and I were working on a case where he was a person of interest for a while, so she didn't want to be around him. And I don't think he wanted to be around her much, because he was rather rude to her a couple of times."

"He would certainly want to be the center of attention."

"I think that's what upset Bianca. She accused me of paying too much attention to other people. And of not talking things over with her."

"You do tend to keep your own counsel. Frankly, I'm surprised you're even talking to me about this."

"The trouble started when he showed up. After all these years, he still manages to shatter my life. But you came out fine. You always have. What's your secret?"

"I don't know that I have any grand secret. I think maybe I was just very lucky to have good friends all along. And netball. I spent so much time playing netball that I didn't really notice how absent he was, even when he was right there in the room. Did you talk to Bianca about him?"

Janet thought back to the conversation that started with the Tooth Fairy and ended with Bianca walking out. Bianca had offered her support and her love, but Janet had dismissed them both, telling Bianca to stay out of it. Sheepishly, she recounted the conversation to her sister, and was not surprised when Liz exploded.

"You idiot! No wonder she broke up with you! She practically begs you to open up, and you completely shut her out. You CANNOT treat your partner that way. You shut me out plenty of times when I tried to help, but I'm your sister and you're stuck with me. Bianca is - or was- your girlfriend, your partner. You can't expect a partner to stick around when you shut them out like that. Didn't you learn that with Ash?"

Now Janet was mortified, remembering her behavior when Bianca mentioned Ash. "You're going to yell at me again, and I deserve it." She confessed that Bianca had asked about Ash and had been thrown out. "I've tried to apologize but she won't take my calls or answer my texts. I even went to her apartment but she wasn't there. What more can I do?"

Liz looked at her watch. Her next client was probably in the waiting room, but too bad. Janet, her beloved, self-sufficient, strong-willed sister, had not sounded so broken since Ash's death. "If I were Bianca's sister, I'd say stay the heck away. Bianca was right. It's too late. But I'm your sister, and I want you to get her back, even though she might be too good for you, because I know that you love her and I want you to be happy. So you track her down. Stake out her car, her apartment, her workplace if necessary. And when you find her, be prepared to grovel. I know that's not your style, so start practicing. And after you've finished groveling, you have to tell her how you feel. You need to open up - be vulnerable for once, dammit, - and then you need to listen, really listen. Can you do that?"

"I'll have to. Thank you, Liz."

"Let me know how it goes. Now I really have to go. But remember, I love you and I'm on your side, no matter how big an idiot you are." She chuckled as she hung up.


	4. Chapter 4

Janet sat in her car, with a clear view of the entrance to the parking deck next to Bianca's apartment building. She had been sitting there for forty-five minutes, but time passed so slowly that it felt like forty-five days. How did Bianca have the patience for stake-outs? Just one of the many things Janet loved about her. If only she could have the chance to tell her so. For the tenth time, she went over what she was going to say to Bianca once she had the opportunity. No opening statement would ever be as important.

At last the familiar blue Hyundai turned into the deck. Janet waited fifteen more minutes, long enough for Bianca to get inside, change into casual clothes and be relaxing. Maybe even having a glass of wine. Something to put her in a receptive frame of mind.

As Janet heard footsteps coming to answer the doorbell, her heart rate shot up and she was filled with a sense of hope tinged with apprehension. After days of unanswered phone calls and texts, she was finally going to get a chance to talk to Bianca. But her hopeful smile faded when she saw the stony look on Bianca's face. Hesitantly she asked, "May I come in?" Wordlessly, Bianca stepped back and allowed Janet to enter. "Thanks for seeing me. There's so much I want to say, so much we need to talk about. Can we sit down and talk?" She motioned to the sofa.

Bianca did not move. "You can say whatever you need to say right there."

Janet dropped her eyes briefly, then took a deep breath and looked imploringly at Bianca. "First of all, I owe you a huge apology. When you asked me about Ash, I over-reacted, and I don't even know why. I learned to accept her death a long time ago, and while yes, a part of me will always love her and miss her, I love you and want to be with you and I want you to be part of my family. You, me and the twins, together." When Bianca remained silent, Janet's tone became more contrite.

"I was wrong to shut you out, to ask you to leave. If we're truly going to be partners, we have to be able to share things like that with each other." Bianca couldn't hide her surprise at hearing such a statement coming from Janet King. The inimitable prosecutor gave her a rueful smile. " My sister Liz told me I was an idiot. She also told me to grovel. So I'm groveling." She clasped her hands in front of her body and bowed her head. "Please give me another chance."

Bianca's features softened. "I can't make such a big decision on an empty stomach. Have you had dinner yet? "

"No, I was out in my car for hours waiting for you. How do you stand it? Just sitting in a car waiting for someone to appear or something to happen."

"All part of the job. I'm used to it. And the results can make up for all the boring parts." She poked around in the fridge until she assembled enough ingredients for a quick stir-fry. Soon they sat down to a simple but tasty dinner. A little small talk was exchanged, but both wanted to save the real issue for after dinner. When the dishes were cleared, they sat on the sofa. Janet took another deep breath, looked at Bianca, then turned to stare straight ahead.

"We moved here when I was seven. My sister Liz made friends right away and didn't have any trouble fitting in. But I did. I asked her how she did it, but she couldn't explain it. My parents weren't any help, either. So I learned not to ask. I kept things to myself. And I still do. Old habits die hard. I did learn how to open up with Ash, but then she was gone, and I was left on my own with two small children. I had to ask for help with them. And I have been very lucky to get such wonderful support from a lot of different people, you included." They looked at each other and nodded. "But because I needed so much help with them, I couldn't bring myself to ask for help for me, aside from the professional counseling. So I got used to making all the decisions on my own. When I didn't ask your advice about Pearl, I wasn't intentionally shutting you out. It just never occurred to me that I should ask somebody else's opinion. And I've had issues with my father for more than twenty years. How could somebody else fix what I haven't been able to?"

"I agree your father is probably a hopeless case. And you found a good solution for Pearl. I just wanted to be involved in the process, to feel involved in the important things in your life, not just in your spare time."

"I see that now. I've thought about it a lot, not just tonight waiting in the car. Ever since you gave the house keys back, I've been trying to think how I can be better - a better partner, a better friend, a better lover."

That put a smile on Bianca's face. "Oh, you do quite well in that respect."

"Don't tempt me," Janet murmured. She gave Bianca a long look full of desire as the atmosphere filled with sexual tension. Mustering an enormous amount of self-control, Janet looked away and exhaled deeply.

"I love you, Bianca. When Ash died, I thought I would never be happy again, but you have given me more happiness than I ever dreamed possible. And I thought you were happy, too, with the kids and with me. I had no idea you were hurting so much, that I was hurting you so much. If I am honest with myself - and with you - it will more than likely happen again. I don't want to you to be hurt. Maybe…. this is so hard to say…..maybe you'd be better off with someone who can make you happier." Janet hung her head dejectedly.

Bianca was taken aback. Was Janet really trying to end their relationship? Her head was swirling. "I was thinking that maybe I wasn't the right one for you. I knew from the beginning how much you missed Ash, and I thought, I hoped I could heal your heart. But even though I love you, too, obviously, I'm not enough. So maybe _you_ 'd be better off with someone who could make you happier." She leaned back and let out a deep sigh.

Janet leaned back and took Bianca's hand, entwining their fingers. "I love you. You love me. We both love the twins. This shouldn't be hard to work out." They sat there for a long time, each deep in her own thoughts but conscious of the other, the touch of their hands, their bodies so close, their breathing almost in sync. At last, Janet turned to face Bianca and grasped both hands. "I don't want to be with anybody else. Ever. But maybe I was wrong to ask you to move in with me." Bianca's heart sank, and Janet noticed the forlorn look that came over her. "If you were around all the time, I would be much more likely to tell you what's on my mind, or ask your opinion on things, so you wouldn't feel shut out. And if I talked too much about work, you could just tell me to shut up and kiss you." Janet smiled at the possibility. Bianca's smile was more tentative, mixed with some confusion. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we should talk about not just you moving in and us living together. We should talk about getting married." Bianca was stunned. Despite the shock on her face, Janet continued, "I guess we never talked about it because it was never an option. And I'm not proposing now." Bianca looked puzzled again. "Oh, I would," continued Janet. "Part of me wants to ask you right now - Will you marry me? But I know you would think that too impulsive, that you want to discuss things first. So I'm bringing it up for discussion, and we can talk about it like equal partners. What do you say?"

Bianca was still so stunned that her answer was slow in coming. "I say I'm going to have to think about this for a while. A few days ago I never wanted to see you again. Now you're asking me to marry you."

"No, I'm not. I'm asking you to talk about the possibility of us getting married some day. If we decide that's a reasonable option, then I'll propose. Do you want me to get down on one knee?"

Bianca laughed. "I think what I really want right now is a glass of wine."

She stood up and went into the kitchen, and laid out two glasses and a bottle of red on the counter. "Do you want some?"

Janet, having followed her into the kitchen, murmured, "There's something I want more than wine." Her arms encircled Bianca and she placed a tender kiss on her lips, noting with relief the lack of resistance. "I don't want to presume, so I have to ask, just so we're clear. Does this mean that we still have work to do, but we're back together?"

Bianca melted, first at the kiss, then at the anxious look in Janet's eyes. "Yes, but I'm not ready to talk about marriage, or even think about such a big commitment." Janet's disappointment was visible, but she let Bianca continue. "But I will commit for the rest of the night," she said with a sly grin, and she began unbuttoning Janet's blouse.

With a groan, Janet stopped her. "You know I want this. I could race you to the bed right now. But more than just tonight, I want to wake up with you in the morning. I want to feel you beside me, to see your face first thing. But I also like to be there when the twins wake up. Would you mind terribly if we continued this at my house?"

It was Bianca's turn to groan. "I guess I can wait. But can I get a kiss to tide me over until then?" They indulged in a long, tender kiss. "I'd better go pack a bag before I change my mind and rip your clothes off here and now."

While Bianca packed an overnight bag, Janet texted Tony. "Bianca and I will be there in about 20 minutes."

The drive back was quiet. The reconciliation still felt too fragile, and both were afraid of saying the wrong thing. Better to remain silent and contemplate the delights ahead.

Bianca headed upstairs while Janet escorted Tony to the door. He didn't have to say anything - a nod and a grunt signified his pleasure. As Janet locked the door and headed upstairs, she was anticipating certain pleasures herself - perhaps Bianca was already in bed, naked and waiting. Her footsteps quickened.

She entered the bedroom to find Bianca fully clothed, standing in front of the wardrobe. Janet came up behind her, put her arms around Bianca's waist, and gently kissed her neck. "There's plenty of room in there, and there's plenty of room in the bed." Bianca leaned back, relishing the feel of Janet's body, her scent, her warmth, her breath. She turned and began unbuttoning Janet's blouse. "Can we pick up where we left off?"

"You committed to the rest of the night." Janet said laughingly, pulling her lover over to the bed.

"Hey, we both have to work tomorrow," Bianca protested unconvincingly. "We need to get a little sleep."

And they did get a little sleep - eventually.

The next morning Janet woke and sensed a familiar warmth next to her. She turned over and saw Bianca gazing at her. "You really are here," Janet said with a hint of wonder in her voice.

"Where else would I be?" Bianca chuckled.

"Last night was so wonderful I was afraid I had dreamed it. I love seeing your beautiful face first thing in the morning. Will I see it tomorrow morning, too?" Janet asked hopefully.

"If I get another night like last night, how can I refuse?" Neither was inclined to refuse anything to the other, and the day got off to a very good start.

Janet's day was more or less like any other - a brief court appearance for an arraignment, sifting through witness statements, berating an incompetent solicitor. At 5:00 she began putting files in her briefcase to look at once the twins were asleep. Her hand hovered over the briefcase as she remembered she had different plans for the evening. Swiftly she shoved the briefcase under her desk and walked out carrying only her purse.

She was in the kitchen working on dinner when the doorbell rang. Bianca was standing there with an overnight bag as she opened the door. Her quick hello kiss was followed by a disappointed glance at the bag, which Bianca noticed with a puzzled look of her own. "Did you not want me to stay the night?"

"I was hoping you'd have two giant suitcases and a U-Haul parked outside."

"Please don't rush me, Janet. We're headed in the right direction, but I'm just not there yet." She brushed Janet's cheek tenderly.

Liam burst in. "Hi, Bibi! Come play with me!"

Janet sighed good-naturedly. "Go ahead. I'll finish cooking."

After a relaxed family dinner, filled with silly stories and anecdotes of the twins' adventures, and with the two children finally settled in bed, the two women settled on the sofa, ready to unwind with a glass of wine.

"Did you find anything new in the money-laundering scheme, or can I not ask since I'm not involved in the case?" asked Bianca.

"You can't ask, but that's not why. You can't ask because it's about work, and I can deal with it tomorrow. Tonight I just want to be with you." Bianca's head buzzed, but it wasn't from the alcohol.

The following night Janet beamed when Bianca stood at the door with a very large suitcase. "I'll take your suitcase. Will you take back your keys?" She picked up the set of keys from the table by the door, where they had been laying untouched since their abrupt return. Bianca pocketed them with a nod in recognition of the significance of the moment. Janet kissed her warmly. "Welcome back."

Bianca's expression darkened."Not yet, Janet." Seeing the hurt look in Janet's eyes, she continued, "Not now. We can talk later."

Later came that evening after the twins were in bed and the two women were once again settled on the sofa.

Janet spoke first. " I don't understand. Am I doing something wrong, or not doing something you want me to? I'm really trying, Bianca. What more can I do?"

Bianca quickly gave her a hug and stroked her cheek. "You are being wonderful. I can't tell you how much it means to me when you don't bring work home. I can't explain my hesitation, but when it feels right, I'll know. That's the best I can do right now. But I do love you and I'm happy being here." she leaned over and gave Janet a deep, passionate kiss. "And _that's_ the best I can do."

Janet smiled. "Why don't we go upstairs and I'll do the best that _I_ can do."

By the end of the night each was convinced that the other was very, very good at what she was doing.

They settled into an easy rhythm, the two adults and two children becoming a happy family together, taking each day as it came. Occasionally, inevitably, Janet had to bring work home. And there were also nights that Bianca was out on a case, running surveillance. Both women were learning how to balance their professional drive with their personal priorities. Bianca brought a few things over from her apartment, making the King home feel more like her home, too.

One evening she stopped by the apartment - no particular reason, just to check on things. There had never been plants to water or pets to take care of, but it had always felt like a cozy and comfortable home. She stood in the living room and was struck by the silence and the emptiness. True, the furniture was all still there, but there was no sense of life or home any more. She knew where her true home was now. The sign that she had been waiting for, that gut feeling which told her what she should do, hit her so hard that her legs wobbled.

Janet was sitting on the bed folding clothes when Bianca rushed in, threw the clothes to the floor, and pushed Janet back on the pillows. "I love you, and I would do almost anything for you, Janet, but when we get married, do I have to wear a dress?"


End file.
